Cancer Tests Today

Hello dear friends,

I have a beautiful thick, warm white jacket.
It is totally NOT fashionable, but it is cosy and warm.
It makes me feel safe.

For some unknown reason, I was determined to wash it today before heading into Amelia's appointments.

I wore it every single day during Amelia's cancer stay last year.

Today was the next appointment for Amelia's cancer monitoring.
I only found out about it last Wednesday.
Today is Tuesday.

The process requires a painful ultrasound of her abdomen and pelvis, x-ray of her chest and blood test.

She needs a full bladder and is not allowed to eat until the ultrasound part of the day.

In the past 9 months the ultrasound is kindly booked for 8am.
Today it was 2pm.

Amelia has been amazing today.
She did not complain today (only the days leading up to it).
She did not cry and scream during the ultrasound, like she has for the previous four.

They push and press so hard on her operation scar and around it, that it always has me holding her hand and literally crying with her.
All to avoid another X-Ray, something so dangerous in causing cancer with A-T.

Today she was amazing.
"I am a big girl now" she kept repeating.

I also wonder if it was the radiologist.
He was amazing.

He left the room briefly and returned with a proper "doctor".
They looked at her liver and took more photo's.
There was an image like a crater on the moon.

"It may just be a telangiectasia" he said to me.
"There may be previous photo's of it to show it is always there".

I don't remember any reports mentioning it.

I REFUSE to stress about it until the oncologist rings me.

Cancer in the liver would mean we are well and truly fucked.

I will assume it is nothing until I hear anything otherwise.

Then we receive a call about a test that has "high glucose levels" from yesterday.
I already have a Type 1, so I know what that means.

Because of Amelia's recent thirst and more frequent toileting, I asked, yesterday, if I could test her on Tom's monitor. She specifically requested that Tom test her.
He explained the fingers that hurt and where to prick.
He spoke to her calmly and had it all finished in 5 minutes.
Keytones as well.

Tonight they rang and said because of the tests she needs to have a blood test tomorrow morning.

I was trying to talk to them while Amelia overheard and began crying hysterically.
Loudly.
Scott got her organised for bed.
She was tired and needed to moved away from the conversation.

Tom was still eating dinner after finally completing his night time needles.
He looked at me frustrated and pushed his dinner to the side.
"I can't handle her like this. I am going to go and lay down with her in bed".

I can still hear the giggling through the monitor.
The fart noises and mocking.

Tom can be such a handful, but when it comes to Amelia, he is a godsend.

I am sure everything will be fine.

xxx