Dear Friends,

My recent posts have been extremely emotional and negative.

It is difficult when the mother is writing.

It is hard not to focus on my own personal emotions, especially when Amelia rarely leaves my side and Tom is never far from me or my thoughts,

Tonight I will write about my amazing children......

Amelia has a smile that always lights up an entire room.

When she laughs, like REALLY, really laughs, it is so contagious that the whole room loses it.
It is one of those laughs where she struggles to breath and no sound comes out.

It is the happiest thing that you could ever, ever see.

I do not recall EVER seeing someone in such a happy state of mind.

If you have been fortunate enough to see it, you will understand what I am talking about.

Amelia can sometimes have the quickest wit in her "one line comments" that it can do the similar....
except the whole room is encased in uncontrollable laughter.
It can be so unpredictable and people have no warning, it can literally blindside you.

I have said many times....
People look at me and say "Did she just say what I think she said?!"

Amelia's empathy is the biggest thing taught.

People and animals.

She reminds you of feelings and lives.

Her sympathy, empathy and compassion is overwhelming.
With everything she travels through, she is always thinking and asking about others.

But in everyday life, with all of this known, we try to stay upbeat and busy.
Shopping, visiting and conversations.

Conversations can be indepth, but we have now moved on from honesty to optimism.

But she is too clever.
She always corrects us and points out the obvious.

Tom is an interesting and technical character.

After living with this for so long, we try to keep up with his current state of mind, but it is difficult.

Tom overwhelmingly adores his sister, worries about his father and I emotionally.
("Do you need a hug mum?" is a daily occurance)

He is a perfectionist with school work and stress of high grades (TOTALLY NOT brought on by us).

Tom is 11.
He wants to be a kid.
He wants to play sport, play with his friends, get out of the house and interact with people.
He knows that he adores Amelia and wants to be part of everything in our family.

Yesterday as Amelia began projectile vomiting with our latest concern, he went out the back and played basketball.
It was the first time it was really apparent that he was ignoring the current situation.

So many times recently, he grabbed the bucket when Scott and I were not nearby.
I walked in to him rubbing her head and consoling her.

Yesterday he showed it is becoming too much.

Yesterday I told Scott we should have had another child for Tom when we had the chance.
I am really regretting not giving Tom a lifelong sibling at this stage.
He will need someone in the future years.

BUT, BUT, BUT,

This post is not about me and my stupid negative thoughts.

This post is about the fact that I gave grown in my belly and given birth to 2 amazing kids that have provided so many with so much thinking on "LIFE".

Recently we meant people that said "We have been reading your blog".

"She is NOT crazy" Scott said pointing at me.

He was only responding to what people may and do think.

I do not have the strength in this battle I have been dealt, but I will find it and will deal it appropriately.

He was speaking about my writings and my inner most thoughts.

Amelia and Tom are amazing on their own.

They will always show their own selves and proves the amazing people they are.

xxx