2016

Hello everyone.

Thank you for all of the messages, love and hugs over the last few days.

This year has been what can only be described as horrific.

So much pain and heartache from many around me, that my insides ache.

What began as "minor situations" (compared to what has happened since) has turned into catastrophic.

I am what is described as an "empath".

I listen to peoples stories and heartache and absorb it.

If you think I am being vain or trying to say "I am awesome" ........ please don't!
It is horrible and I honestly wish it did not happen to me.

Scott is used to me coming home, drinking wine and crying my eyes out over "this amazing person who is going through so much".

But this year has seen me absorbing my own daughters pain, stress and fear of dying.

For 3 weeks I did not eat due to her depression as well as my own over the shock of her cancer diagnosis while we were in hospital.

Visitors would come in and tell me off for not eating.

"Why eat when I know I will just vomit from stress" I would say!

3 whole weeks, 24 hours a day of being in the same room as her while she cried, groaned and asked for constant reassurance.
3 whole weeks of wondering if her underlying disease will NOT be the thing that shortens her life. That this malignant tumour would be.

Then my beautiful Meredith lost her 6 year old due to an aggressive brain tumour.
6 months from diagnosis.
6 fucking years old.

That is seriously shit.

And now Julia.

Very rarely have I found a connecting friendship in someone other than Scott.

I found one with Gary, Julia's husband, years ago.
He is someone I can just be "me" with and not worry about judgement.
He is a true friend.

Whether he speaks or not, I absorb his pain.

My heart aches and my emotions are all over the place, but I know that my true friends have my back.

Another friend has just found out her husbands "lump" is NOT cancer.

I could go on, but I won't.
This has been a seriously shit year for so many.

Tonight's blog is more about looking at yourself and those around you.

If a lump was found on your body tomorrow (which is a big possibility).
If you were confronted with possible death in the future, would you look really deeply into yourself and say "I am a good person and am proud of who I am?".

This afternoon I was honoured to be asked to meet the most amazing teenager that has had one single person turn her world against her with his lies.

I hope she listened when I reminded her that she is amazing and people can be judgemental and cruel.

Don't be one of those people.

Make your life amazing.
Have no regrets at the end.

Julia did that.
I am making sure Amelia has that too.

I will also make sure this young girl experiences the goodness that is in life too.

There ARE good people out there.
I truly believe that.

xxx

P.S The link below is MY song to Amelia.

P.P.S I am now adding it to Meredith, Julia, the teenager who has been hurt horribly and the other teenager who is going to help me help her find "the light" again.

Be a good person people.

You have ONE life.
Make it memorable.

xxx (again!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2GFx7yrtMg