Hello Friends,
We seem to have entered a new era and stage of our lives in this house.
As I feel the weight of achieving greatness for Amelia, in what is unusual circumstances, is now lifted, I feel relief.
Amelia has entered a new stage of her life where carers, who have become her best friends, come and go.
They all bring their own personalities and skills to share with her and she excitedly awaits their arrival.
The squeals upon seeing their car/s arriving are deafening!
We have 4 permanent girls and 2 casual girls AND 1 boy.
They message each other on social media and "tag" her subjects they know she will love or be interested in.
Amelia is now behaving like a young lady with strong opinions, independence and does not hesitate to request her needs or wants.
A distance has been created been her and myself that is healthy and neither Amelia or I feel pressure to defend, protect and care solely for each other anymore.
Scott and Tom had already created that distance through work and school.
Amelia has grown up.
She has 2 jobs where she is helping to care for disadvantaged and unwell animals.
She likes feeling needed and wanted.
After a long stage of acceptance and observation, I have learnt to adapt to this new era and begin a process of personal growth myself.
Create a life just for myself again.
I spend everyday helping others, while still trying to create a routine of running my own house.
When my weight recently reached 98kg's, I decided that I would move my main focus to myself in a small way and create an eating and exercise plan that would help me feel better about myself.
I began by completely stopping drinking alcohol.
That helped me to lose some of my depression, anxiety and tiredness.
It is now 2 years since Scott and I stopped smoking, so the elimination of "bad habits" was going well.
Next came the bad food.
My days had become 3 Mocha's (chocolate coffee) during the day, dip and biscuits for afternoon tea, dinner, wine and maltesers for supper.
No wonder I was so tired and 98 kg!
Now I have a vitamin shake (with a spoonful of plain coffee!) for breakfast, a vitamin soup for lunch, a handful of peanuts for afternoon tea and dinner.
I make sure that I also have at least 2 litres of water a day.
The "binge" chocolate at night is my battle!!!
I walk the dog every morning and my day is quite physical when helping others.
But I have lost 14kg so far and am proud of myself.
With Tom, starting High School, we have introduced dinner at the table again.
Then we get to at least see and speak to him at least once during the day.
It is very different no longer knowing, children, parents and teachers.
To rely on a child of 13 to communicate his school and social life is hard when you have always had strong knowledge.
I was disappointed to hear that a child has found the photo of Tom in a pink dress on my facebook page and it is now being circulated around various year levels and schools.
Apparently the teasing is constant.
When I questioned whether he explained that he did it for his sister?
That we were worried she may die?
That she is already a very sick child?
He said "they don't care. It is a photo of me wearing a pink dress".
Welcome to the new world of social media in the teenage years Amanda.
So now I must leave to continue another "quest" I have taken on.
Sorting through 30,000+ photos and putting them into folders and deleting many.
So far, I have spent about 50 hours on it!
At the end of the month, we embark on Amelia's Make a Wish holiday.
We are going to Sydney to witness a taping of The Living Room, Channel 10 on a Friday night for those in Australia, and to meet the hosts.
But not just any episode........
Amelia specifically requested "The Christmas Special, because everyone in the audience goes home with presents!".
Clever child.
Hope you are all well.
xxx
